Allies -- classic showdowns of consummate heavyweights that all pale in comparison to the great fruit debate of apples vs. Just like the aforementioned epic contests, there is only one correct choice in the apples vs. Bananas can get lost. I don't care how much potassium, fiber and folic acid good for your colon, FYI bananas have, I much prefer my food to crunch rather than squish.
I also have never comically slipped on an apple peel, coating myself with spilled food while my limbs flail and I go topsy-turvy onto my backside when walking out of the lunch line in middle school. Yes, this can actually happen. Perhaps it's because apples have so much more variety than bananas. Bananas are either firm and bright-yellow or brown and mushy, like a Band-Aid you wore for too long while swimming.
With apples, there are not only a wide variety of colors, but also textures, shapes, tastes and levels of sweetness and tartness. Apples are the croutons of a fruit salad because of their crunchy goodness. Bananas have no place in a fruit salad, and the last time I checked, there's no such thing as banana juice. Apple juice, however, is wonderful. Bananas are the subtle undertones of smoothies, or the third-best ingredient in banana nut bread -- bread and nuts taking first and second, respectively.
I was too happy for humility, and to feel the sinews in my arms tighten was to be among living things, and surely some of those things must be good things. She tugged at my hair, and kissed me with her eyes closed, all over my face, and quite suddenly I realized with a shock that my beard and mustache were on my face. I sat down beside her, embracing her.
I felt the moist thin silkiness of her skin, not healthy in a woman too thin, yet delicious. Even the bones of her wrists were beautiful. Splendid, she whispered. A rain of doubts descended on me. I kissed her and held her, my hands free and rough over her thighs and stealing into the secret crevice, to feel there the firmness of a young woman's secret body.
Chemicals, was it? Modern science? It worked even more swiftly and completely than last time. Not an electric light burned in the place. It was the dreamiest darkness. I stretched out my arms and looked up at the sky. Though suddenly aware of a fatigue from all the night's tricks, I nevertheless told my clothes to assemble themselves nearby and await my command.
I would be naked.

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